i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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