last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
