I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
