Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
