So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
