she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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