your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
