I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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