final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
