Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
