I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
