we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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