i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
