nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
