Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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