y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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