Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I need moral support for this bender
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
