i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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