i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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