I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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