don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
