So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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