if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize