I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
