Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize