I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
