WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
