is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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