Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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