im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
