Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
