So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
