No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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