She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
