What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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