How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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