Nicole vs. Life
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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