I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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