So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are a genius and a whore.
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