Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
