am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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