I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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