Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
A bitchslap is in order.
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