doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How does one acquire holy water?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
