He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
