I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My feet surprised me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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