I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize