So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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