dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
