Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
