I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
