I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
time to smoke my breakfast
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
