I seem to have left my pride at pride
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
