Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
