Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
