apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
