and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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