should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
