google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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